...and to the countless others who've lost their lives to police brutality, I mourn with your families.
I am neither here to debate why these murders were justified, nor am I here to talk about how uncomfortable I am to be black in America. Instead, I am here to simply talk about pain and how to push past it.
You see, I've always written in my journal(s) or listened to music to help me get through trauma as a child. Nowadays, I write more. These past few days have been filled with disheartening national news (per usual); however, my sadness was primarily due to the injustice within the news. The murders of U.S. citizens Alton Sterling and Philando Castile really struck a nerve with me (for obvious reasons, but also) because these unfair deaths were hours apart. Different bodies, but the same results: murder without consequences.
I know the news recaps daily unfair deaths, crime, violence, etc., BUT there's a different level of heartbreak when you know the injustice is caused by the U.S. Department of Justice: the group of enforcers we (Americans) have been trained to call on for our protection. But who do we call when police officers are the people who are murdering others?
I feel helpless. Well, I did until i realized that my true help comes--and will always come--from God. And this morning, HE put a message in my spirit. So, here I write. I didn't question God (like I've been silently doing the past few days). I just started writing! with every word, I felt a little lighter. I used writing, once again, as my therapy and it was...well, therapeutic.
Am I still in pain on behalf of the families of those who've lost their lives to police brutality? YES.
Am I still scared on behalf of my brothers, dad, stepdad, nephew, male cousins and friends, and all of the black men in my country? YES.
Am I a little uneasy when I see a black and white police car, or an "officer in uniform?" YES.
The only thing is, I am trusting God to comfort the hearts of everyone mentally, legally, emotionally, and physically involved in said injustices. The more I write, the more I realize that police brutality and racism are not only issues within the African-American community, but they are also american issues.
People cope with "issues" in different ways. In my opinion, the most important way to cope with an issue is to not be silent; therefore, I am choosing to write.
I am writing through my pain.
How are coping with your pain?